Plastic Wrap. And Surviving

The new year has officially begun.  I know this because I just had my birthday.  Most peeps celebrate January 1, New Years Day.  I like to celebrate on my birthday.  Thats when I make all my resolutions, so that by February I am done with them.  It makes the month shorter.  :)

This new year found me anxious, nervous and not in a very good frame of mind.  So we threw a New Years Day party with friends.  That helped alot.  I wasnt able to run the Resolution Run on New Years, due to a lingering horrible cough.  There will be other races.  I know.  Still, made me mad.  Then I had my next procedure to normalness.  Tattoos!  Oh, man talk about anxious and nervous and totally conflicted.  I had never considered tattoos BBC.  (before breast cancer)  Wasnt a thing I thought would be something I ever did.  But the day arrived.  It was time.  Lets go.  Come on get in the car.  Stopped dragging your feet.  Come on.  Move it woman or I am picking you up and throwing you in the car.  Okay it wasn’t like that.  I hate to be late for any kind of appointment.  I was ready.  (sort of)

I was also very stressed.  Cant explain it.  Not justified in my thought process.  But I went.  Of course I went.  There was no doubt that I was gonna do this.  (well maybe a little doubt)  Got to the office.  My plastic surgeon has special days every three months set aside just for this tattooing process.  He has brought in a very good artist and the procedure is done in the office using the special tools that the doctor has.  Hubby and I , (yes he went, of course he went, who else would have got me in the car?)  had a short visit with the doctor and then the tattoo dude comes in.  Okay, back up, little info about what I was thinking.  Okay you’ve seen the tv shows, you’ve seen the shops along the streets, you know, the ones you wouldn’t dare be caught in let alone talk to the people in the shops.  Thats where I was.  But you know, if I have learned anything along this crazy cancer journey, it is, I know nothing! and I just need to relax and not allow my mind to play these games of self doubt and worry.  The tattoo guy was great. ( gee, like he was a real person or something) Talked with us about how the procedure was going to go, explained the aftercare needed to allow the new “tats” to heal, just all around  nice guy.   The tattoo guy and my doctor had looked at my before pics and helped me decide on the best coloring blah, blah, blah.  So everything was decided.  Now to get’er done!  The great thing (really?  theres a great thing about reconstruction???) was I still have no feeling in my new breasts, so I really didn’t feel anything, except some pressure.  That was cool.  It took about an hour, I guess, I have no idea, I went to my happy place.  So, got done and bandaged up and headed home.  That wasn’t so bad, mmmm how about a little ladybug or dragonfly???

Aftercare for a tattoo is, ummmm, lets say, interesting.  Plastic wrap?  Really?  Plastic wrap!  Okay.  So the new tattoos had to have special little “plastic wrap” bandages over them for the first 5 day.  Each day, about 3 times a day I would have to make new, ugh, what to call them, covers?  yes, lets go with covers, to go over the area and also apply anti-biotic medicine to help healing and avoid infection.  I also had to place some paper towel type bandaged just below them to allow for any bleeding or ink to drain away and not stain my clothing. They healed beautifully.  No scabs (yuckky) or any problems.  By day 5, I didn’t need the covers anymore and the area started to peel, like a sunburn. For the next week  or so I had to apply some lotion to keep the skin soft.  I can do that, my legs could use some lotion too.  Now they look great.  The tattoo dude said the ink would fade and my next appointment in March will be to fill in any areas that may have been missed.  I made the appointment, but I dont know.  Maybe this is good enough.  We shall see.

The other most awesomest news, and the day I have been waiting for, finally came.  January 8, 2011.  I am now OFFICIALLY a cancer survivor.  That sucks.  No wait.  I mean thats great, it is just a group I never thought I would have to join.  But I did and I have some amazing company.  My friend up north, she celebrated her one year too.  My hubby has 8 years under his belt.  My chemo buddy is fast approaching her one year.  My new friends from the Pink Ribbon Cowgirls, wonderful and inspiring ladies.  It has been one hell of a year.  But now I can start this new year with some new goals.  Some new friends.  Some new hopes and dreams.

A New Year! Life is Good!

Goodbye 2010.  So long, see ya later.  Well, actually I dont want to see you anymore.  Whew.  What a year.  Gosh, has it been only a year.  I think I have lived a lifetime in this short year.  Last year I ran in my first ever 5K.  Had a great time.   Was going to start running and getting in shape.  Of course I knew life would laugh at my plans, because of my mammygrammy that I had gotten on Dec. 17, 2009.  I went through the holidays in a bit of a daze.  We went on our family ski trip.  Had a wonderful Christmas.  Brought in the new year with new friends.  I kept a smile on my face and tried really hard to enjoy everything.  I knew something was different this time.  January  6th was the biopsy and January 8th I got the “cancer” call.  And the roller coaster ride started.

But thats all behind me now.  Whew.  I made it.  I am approaching my cancerversary, and I know I am gonna be okay.  I wasn’t able to run the Resolution Race this year, like I had planned, due to a horrible cough and headache that I have been fighting since Dec 18.  Why does it seem like everytime my family goes on a vacation, I get sick?  Not just the sniffles or an easy cold, but I mean SICK.  This year was no exception.  I have been dreaming of the ocean since February 6,2010 when I woke up from my bilateral mastectomy/reconstruction surgery.  My family changed our annual ski trip for a trip to the Bahamas.  And I got sick.  The day we left, I knew it was coming, I tried to stall it, no good.  Ugh.  But it worked out okay.  I got to sit for several hours and listen to the ocean and feel the wind and sink my toes into the sand.  And it was okay.

Note to self!!!!  NEVER stop any kind of hormone suppressant or inhibitor or anything like that before you leave on a trip.  I have been having some bad side effects from the Arimidex and so my Onco dr. suggested I stop taking it and the symptoms should clear up in time for my trip.  Okay.  Cool, I thought.  I wont be walking around like an old grandma lady and having my hands and feet swell and not being able to stand up or sit easily.  Cool.  Lets do it!  OMG!!!! What the @#$% was I thinking?  Yes those nasty symptoms went away and I was able to easily climb stairs, run around with the family, well except I had a horrific cough.  But the worst of it was my emotions were out of control.  Yelling, crying, screaming,  not pleasant.  At least I was not near any sharp objects and I was on a cruise ship, so I couldn’t run far.  Ugh.  Not pleasant for my hubby and kiddos.  But we made it through it and I didn’t kill anyone.  The hormones are a bit more under control, and I am feeling less moody.  So next month, I get to try a new hormone inhibitor.  Oh, dear Lord, please pray for my family.  Hopefully the side effects wont be so bad.  (thats what I keep whispering to myself every night)

My last surgery in October has healed and I got to go bra shopping!  I have some new “pretties” and I feel so pretty in them.  And the best thing is, THEY FIT!  I know.  How cool is that.  I actually have a selection to choose from.  Totally cool.  I am having to learn how to shop again because I am such a different shape now.  I can wear things now that I only wished I could before.  It is so damn cool.  The best part of all this @#$%, is the fun new clothes I am getting to wear.  I bought a string bikini!  and I wore it!  (Okay now about that extra few pounds)

Life is looking good for 2011.    My hair is growing out and I actually had to go to the stylist and get it cut!  My scars are healing and fading.  I am trying to exercise more and eat healthier.  (not that we didn’t eat good before, we did, just trying to eat better)  My neuropathy in my hands is fading.  I will find a hormone inhibitor that doesn’t have such bad side effects and  I will be celebrating my birthday in 2 weeks. I am married to the most amazing and wonderful man and I love him dearly.  I have 2 incredible kids. Life is good!