I have found that life is pretty damn awesome, because I got breast cancer.
I know, you are saying WHAT!!! How could getting breast cancer make life so awesome. But its true, so hear me out on this one.
These past few months have been such an emotional roller coaster for me, that I am really having a hard time dealing with alot of these issues that have come up. I wasn’t sure about anything. I was still very fogging with chemo brain and it was starting to get me way down. I had to start a new hormone inhibitor pill, Arimidex, and the side effects were really hitting me. My legs ached, my feet and hands would swell and it was really difficult to walk without my feet just hurting. And then I started to get back out there and exercise. At first I was just able to walk for a short distance. You know around the block and back kinda walk. My legs and knees were not happy with me, and they really let me know that they were not happy with me. But I gradually increased my distance and my speed. My handsome hubby, who is a runner, has been so encouraging and patient with me. He will walk with me at my pace and then once I am back home, he will head out for a short run. Well, now I am able to keep up with him. Not quite as far or as fast, but I am out there running and each day my distance is getting further and faster. BBC (before breast cancer) I was not much of a runner. I hated having to wear 2 bras and still be uncomfortable when I ran. (Not to mention not being able to breathe due to the constriction of the ace bandage type support that I had to wear just so the “girls” would not hit me in the eye) I would make up excuses and stick hard and fast to them. Well I ran out of excuses, and I am so glad I did. I am feeling better because I am exercising and its going good. Breast cancer made me do it.
I also did something that I probably would never have done “BBC”. I went to a support group luncheon. I know sounds easy enough, but it was very hard for me to take that first step. Heck, it took me almost 6 months just to walk into the Breast Cancer Resource Center, and its right next door to my plastic surgeons office! But I did and I am so glad that I did. (damn it. WHY!!! didn’t I do that earlier, yes honey you were right!) The lady there was so wonderful and helpful. She put me in touch with a group called Pink Ribbon Cowgirls. Its a support group for young women with breast cancer. And I guess 45 is still young. I think that has been some of my mental problems. I felt old. My mother was diagnosed at age 70, my grandmother as well, and here I was 45 years OLD with the old lady breast cancer. I never knew there was a group for young women, hell I didn’t know women as young as 28, or younger, were fighting this as well. I just felt old. But now…. I am feeling better. I went to the luncheon and was completely blown away by the welcome and friendship that was instantly there. It was so helpful. On the way home from the luncheon, I cried, and it felt really good. The cancer made me do it.
And now, I am getting ready to run a 5K in October and one in November. I did run (okay, it was more like a really fast walk) my very first 5K on New Years Day this year. I had been half heartedly training, sort of. I had just had my mammy grammy and I just knew that bad news was on the horizon, but I wanted to start the year off on a positive note. And now, almost 9 months later I am a better runner than I ever was. Well, you really couldn’t call me a runner, but now, I think I am. And to be honest, I am starting to enjoy it. And its all cancer’s fault.
